GH Mumm’s “Agent Provoceteur” (hosted by xBizzle)

At the World Famous Suzie Wong’s Club, my home boy Showtyme from Shanghai threw a crazy Champagne party for GH Mumm who he represents for events at clubs. Showtyme needed a true personality on the mic that night, someone who could capture the class of a model-champagne party but also get the crowd hyped up and ready to pop some bottles… obviously he hollered at Bizzle.

Bizzle always reps that NC

Bizzle always reps that NC

Two days before the show, I met up with Showtyme, Sbazzo, XIV (who was only in town for one night as he is filming a movie down in Yunnan) and M2 el Maya. We got some drinks at the Saddle and started talkin’ business. Showtyme let me know more about the scene down in Shanghai, sayin that Beijing was really the only place where hip hop shows were poppin’ off regularly anymore, other than smaller cities. He said the real money is in the alcohol company parties, which he specializes in now.

Anyway, I agreed to do the show, but he really didn’t prep me at all for what I was going to do. He said he would get the info and all the details for the show later that night… then two days goes by and nothing. We tried to meet up, but for some reason we never did and Friday evening rolls around and I walk into rehersals without the slightest idea what I am getting myself into…

Luckily for me, Showtyme is a true maestro for these kind of events and he had EVERYTHING worked out. Let’s just say I knew it was my kind of party when I saw there were Hot Hot Hot dancers, a couple singers, crazy spandex outfits, cases upon cases of champange; so of course Bizzle felt quite at home.

Agent 003 was my fave

Agent 003 was my fave

During rehersals I worked out my lines and figured out the timing, which had to be REALLY specific to fit with their show. It took a little while but after about an hr we got it down and we all went our separate ways to prepare for the 11:30pm meeting time for the show. Oh, and I forgot to mention the dress code…  suit and tie, but I made some adjustments…

The theme of the party was “Agent Provocateur” ….think spandex +  lingerie + James Bond + Russian models + champange  …..and you get the idea.

Anyway before I knew it, my homegirl (what up swilly!) and I were getting drinks in Sanlitun and I had my iPod going over the intro again and again, rehearsing my timing…

I thought it was going to be nothing at first, but I was having a hard time doing everything they wanted in English, then doing it in Chinese and also matching it to the timing. That was the hardest part for me, because the Club owner, the promoter, the dancers, the singers, were all making special requests for things to say and how to say them;  I had to do it in two languages; and do it all in 1 minute 14 seconds. Easy right?

So now…the evening begins….

Me and my arm candy (so what, who doesn’t) show up and get right into the VIP room to find all the dancers, models, singers, etc. getting loose on Grey Goose (rhyme master)… obviously we join right in. Before long, the promoter is shoutin’ “5 minutes” and we all start putting our game faces on… thats when the promoter passes me part of my “outfit”… the red gloves.

not gangsta

not gangsta

Now I am not the type to say no to a promoters request, but these were definitely girl gloves. I tried to put one on and it was shredded to pieces before it got all the way on. I tried the other one and it fit, but it was tight. After some discussion, I agreed to wear it, since I thought it brought out my King of Pop side…

5 minutes goes by and the promoter is back, we’re ready to go… but… we can’t because the CLUB IS TOO PACKED, and there isn’t enough security to escort us to the stage… so we wait 15 minutes. Finally security gets with it and we start the procession (we had over 12 people performing) downstairs. We get about halfway to the stage, in the middle of a packed club looking like a mamba line of red and black dressed strippers and pimps.

CROWD TOO PACKED, CANT GET ON STAGE

a bouncer yells at me. But at this point we can’t go forward, we can’t go back…we’re trapped.

going nuts before we even got on stage!

going nuts before we even got on stage!

(I know this story is epic… but keep going, your almost there!)

So NOW we have to retreat to a new area to wait for them to clear the stage off…

20 minutes later we get the cue that we’re going on, about 40 minutes late. As I am walking up to the stage, I notice the dancers getting in position really fast… then I hear the intro SONG START…remember all that jazz I said about timing…well I was SCREWED because I wasn’t even on stage yet and my timing was already off.

more red.

more red.

I jump on stage and recover, barely, and the show starts without a big issue.  Then in the middle of my lines, a Chinese girl starts pulling on my coat trying to get my attention! Damn girl! I am trying to do a show and she won’t leave me alone. (I want to say I hated it, but I didn’t, at all)

Then this blonde jumped on stage to catch a photo with the Bizzle… don’t hate that either.

Love the Glove. (check out my glowstick haha)

Love the Glove. (check out my glowstick haha)

lady gaga singer

looked just like her...and sang like her too. kinda bad.

So after a cool dance show, the Russian singer did her thing (Lady Gaga impersonation) and I ended up getting TOO hype for the party (the dance coach told me to chill on the excessive hyping) haha…when you get Bizzle you get 110% HYPE homie!

Then, in just a few minutes the whole thing was pretty much over and we were popping bottles WITH bottles and models (seriously you should try it).

After the other performers were finished, the whole crew partied in the VIP for a while and that’s when my Russian girls met the Russian dancers and everyone was putting on their best “Russian Club faces”. It was entertaining to say the least…

red.

red.

Soon enough, Showtyme and I even had a little freestyle battle session, and dude can spit no doubt! After a few bottles of Mumms, the Russians and I moved on to Vics and got our dance on till the early morning.

That’s when things got really interesting, but that’s a story for another type of website …

приветствия! Na sdarovie!

What did you do last Friday night?

What did you do last Friday night?

Bizzle!

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